“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

– Viktor E. Frankl

Couples Counselling

Couples come for therapy when one or both partners are experiencing distress or dissatisfaction in the relationship. The content can be anything from feeling a lack of intimacy, emotional closeness or physical desire to issues involving communication, commitment, affairs, parenting concerns or simply a lack of meaning and connection.

Sometimes the possibility of separation or divorce is arising and tension may be high.

Regardless of the specifics of the situation my job is to ensure that you both feel heard and understood. I invite couples to express themselves authentically and help each person identify what they need.

We work together to develop ways of communication that resolve conflict, increase respect and bring awareness to the dynamics of the relationship. The relationship will be viewed as a container in which both people can reach their fullest potential, turning relationship obstacles into opportunities.

As we explore how family of origin dynamics are influencing your current relationship, the freedom to be fully yourself while still in authentic contact increases. It is also an opportunity to grow up all the young parts of oneself that may still believe ‘if it was the right relationship it wouldn’t be such hard work or the child part of oneself that may still be longing for a happily ever after, fairy tale ending.

This is exploration for the adult self where you will gain strength and resources so that you are better able to be honest, stand for what you want and also receive another person’s reality. When you can leave behind codependence…grow past protecting your independence and move to the next level of development …interdependence, you will be amazed what can be accomplished.

When the interactions in a relationship are viewed as an opportunity to learn more about oneself instead of trying to change the other, one is never simply reactive, bored or stagnant. When the relationship container is authentic and kind, then the participants are infusing their dynamic with the energy of a deep passionate partnership. You remain ever curious about what the other is thinking and feeling. You are accepted for who you are.

Recommended Reading

The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships: What’s Going on Behind the Scene – Douglas and Naomi Mosely
Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions – Roberta M Gilbert MD
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships – David Schnarch PhD

Some questions to consider when committing to Couples counselling

  • What kind of relationship do you want to have or build with your partner?

  • What will be required of you to make it happen?

  • What are the internal obstacles that may interfere with you doing what is required of you?

Testimonials

“We came because we were fighting and I felt unsatisfied in my relationship.  I got so much more than I anticipated. And we are still together. The tools Tasha gave us worked. She asked good questions and I like how direct but compassionate she was. The combination worked.”

“Our relationship felt stale and boring really. We had raised a family and been together for years. I was pretty sure it had just run its course. Learning that how I was feeling about my partner said more about me than her was eye opening. Once I began to look at myself it all shifted. We are still together, excited by the new way we are relating and super pleased about the revived sexual aspect to marriage. It’s a whole new relationship. Thanks Tasha for believing in us.”

“It was a nightmare beginning! Cheating, lying, a mess of epic proportions. We didn’t have a clue how to be relate let alone be vulnerable or loving. No one had taught us. No excuse. We were the poster children of bad behavior. I’m thankful Tasha took us on and got us to stop pointing fingers at each other. We are not done but wow…what a difference when we follow through with our assignments.”

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